you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
They have beer where we have blood.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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