I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
