I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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