Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Randomize
