my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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