YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
