rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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