sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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