We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
