.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
