This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
