dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
