can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i think my mom watched the whole time
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
