I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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