yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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