What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
