I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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