its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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