It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There's always time for handjobs
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
