Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
