I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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