Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
