New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize