dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Send help, water and tortillas.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
