piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
