We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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