he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
