I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
