Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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