hotel room ftw
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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