She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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