he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
