wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize