i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
