Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Can't talk, ducks in the car
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
