i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
