Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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