Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
