Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
