A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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