There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
