Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize