my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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