I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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