Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
COCAINE IS GR8
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
