The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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