Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
