I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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