i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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