I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
