The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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