I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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