The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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