Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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