i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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