Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't deserve a penis
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
