All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
